Finally is holiday ~

It always good to enjoy the holidays specially after training for months & busy every weeks in camp~
Got a 24km march from friday 7pm to sat 4am plus~
The first 6km march, received a photo from my gf!
Haha so cute of her & the cupcake~
Someone who is always motivate me! My motivator :D

Never ever try walking at east coast park from one end to another end before~
Now I did & I don't feel like going to that "MEMORABLE" park again!

After road march~ was 4am plus & we changed up & sleep on the F1 track~
Whole track near the Marina platform was filled with thousands of recruits laying down to rest~
As My company was the last few one, we only manage to sleep for an hour then walk to the platform for GRADUATION!! :DD
Skipped the first entry of the parade due to not able to attend the rehearsal a week before because of me booking in on friday morning.It was a sad news when on wed night, after the parade rehearsal, the captain giving out the best platoon medal in front of the company & I was not around to collect :(
But my Ah Ma is more important ~ So no loss!
Next, I was only able to join in the parade on the re-entry for THROWING CAP PARADE :DD
HAHA~ at least i still can join in the parade to shout"POP LOH" together with everyone :)
(How i wish you were here to attend my graduation & admire the medal i got in BMT~)
(Never forget the smile on your face the day you send me in Tekong for enlistment~)

Was thankful that Daniel & Lynette came for my POP~
I didn't attend his parade yet he came to attend mine~
I guess there is no other friend who got a heart like them i can find.... 

Then I am super thankful to my elder sister's bf  who drove me in on friday morning 7.30am to ferry terminal to book in, sending us all home after POP~ whereby the field bag is so FREAKING HEAVY with ILBV & Helmet!

Back home~
Rest~ 

Go out to Malaysia with gf to walk around....

Planned to get train back to Gemas on next weekend but~

the ticket station counter computer got problem..... & the staff told us," Our computer is down, i think you all will have to come down to get the ticket tomorrow"~ LOL? it was 4pm plus... Not efficiency at all ~
So then we had our dinner at a Japanese restaurant ....

Sunday~
Went for a run~ lunch at 925 ~ dinner at KFC~
Maybe it is time for me to be show my super super discipline of the food i am eating nowadays so that it can influence my gf as well~
Guess eating really play a super important part of our appearance & health~
So please always maintain~

Following day~

Manage to wake up early in the morning & ate breakfast with gf in school~
haha what a stupid day to be in school & having holidays on tuesday due to hari raya~
But of cause, it is better not to influence bad things to other ... like asking them to skip school~
Gym-ed~
Went to NTU! My Future SCHOOL! :D
Cant wait to study again ~ felt so motivated to study ever since in BMT~
Want to really put in all my best to hit GPA-5!
But with my friend went inside for a math lecture & i fall asleep~ :(
Seems like my concentration are not able to last longer compared to the past~
Hope it will be better after ORD, back to study~
Ate a Nasi bryani only at $3 at NTU & a curry puff of OLD CHANG KEE that you use the tong can take yourself~
Overall the university look very interesting to me~
After all ~ rushed back.. wanted to bath & wait for my gf & sister back to Malaysia due to the 7 days of my Ah Ma~
But.. saw the clothes in the washing machine, shit all over the house, the pee, smell like shit all around my house~
Couldn't take it & quickly clean them up
~All the while house chore was did by my parents, so looking at those dirt, smelling all the weird smell in the house, first thing in mind is , blame them first ~
(Realise that we human being, will take things for granted & if one who always showing their good effort every time wont be seem, but the 1 % of the bad thing happen in them, we start to point arrow at them)
Then i keep thinking & thinking... i guess it will have the in the mind is normal, but we must learn to appreciate & help out rather than calling them & complain, scold at them ..etc.
Got back & have a super heavy supper ~ :D


Overnight at my 5th uncle house..
It was big~
2 Storey
3 rooms( every room have toilet)

1 super big living room

The house was just super big..... every rooms are just like a master room.
Off the light! Can't even see my five fingers! LOL :D
(Used to want to have a big house, but like i guess just a house that is just nice for the amount of people to stay together is enough)

Went to buy lotus folding paper to fold & burn for Ah Ma...

Don't know what it actually means just know that it will be good for Ah Ma~
Haha it look beautiful ~

Step by Step Lotus flower 

 5x5=25 to fold the whole flower

 Each stack of five have to be a opposite end then tie them tight together

 Folding two upwards from the middle.. then direction to right all the way till a cycle

 Then fold upwards one layer by layer & leave the last layer

 Last layer just fold & make it nicer

Then after folding, it will need to bring back to the Master to pray before we burn for Ah Ma on certain date~

Addition point to note~
If you bought a top up prepaid card in Malaysia~
Do visit the Telco website & check out the code to activate the Data plan~
It will help you save a lot of $$ 

Then back Singapore....

Ran again~ Due to the intake of so much junk food in Malaysia~
Went to Chong Pang hawker to eat dinner~
(Feel shameless in the past when relative came to Singapore & ask me to bring then to eat something good I don't know, but now I wish they will be here again & i will bring them to different place to try all the "TOP" good in Singapore)
ASK ME ASK ME! :)

I wanted to end this post with this..

Understand that you will spend every single second with me when you are free...
I really really really appreciate... (Other than appreciate i couldn't know what other vocab i can use)
I hope that when i tell her that i want to meet my friend, she don't get upset.
Honestly, every single time while making decision & I am stunt, staring into blank....it was because of you..
No other hard time other than my family & you~

But my smart gf will really a smart gf, always give a good decision in the end & I feel lot better...

Nobody will know.... i have pushed more than unlimited times of event/gathering/outing because of her..
(To girlfriend)
Nobody will know how important she is to me
(To friends)

Worry that meeting too often will get you bored, too sticky causes you not able to do things, freedom time alone..etc.
Little secret here~
I do have times i feel like i cant breath in the past~
I do getting little flare up when there is too many request from you at times~
I do worry in super long term, how well you or my family can compromise one another~
I do WORRY IF YOU SAW THIS ... what happen~

No matter what... there is still a conclusion of all~
I LOVE YOU
I WILL STILL DO :)

Last week before POP

Finally....
It is just one last week to POP!
Cant wait for this day ever since the day I entered into tekong~
Dream about a trip to somewhere far but don't know where it is, seating on the bus with my gf & my dad...
I helped my gf to put on the blanket..... a blanket that is inside my SAF sling bag? LOL?
And if i not wrong it look like the blanket i used to sleep in tekong as well~ hahaha
I realise i am easily getting mad over her now, I started tracking those guys that is talking to her in twitter.
Reading their every single conversation.. I guess it must because most of the time actually i cannot accept it to see her communicating or hanging out with other guys,but i still endure & let her go... believing that too much restriction , the relationship will not last longer....
But think again... how long can I endure the pain inside me?
By doing this, is it possible to say that I am just making myself gone bonkers one day?
She must be so so important that even my dream i could dream about her so many times in BMT..
Never forget one Thursday night... recalled that my gf mentioning about a guy that have been keep asking her out for a meal.After looking at his face in facebook, the reply to my gf in twitter... got me super angry, I was on my tekong bed , getting ready to sleep...
It must be because I am just afraid to loss her....
Trust is earned more than just words coming out of the mouth.

Booked out on Friday afternoon... It was considered one of the earliest book out...
Saw my Telecommunication lecturer, Ms Adeline on the way to take my bus, she just finished her master degree oversea,she saying something that is quite truth is that Singtel Engineer have become customer service already....focus will be very different in future.. Made me feel like giving up being a engineering in Singtel after university education.

Planned to send gf to her area... chit chat walk around to accompany her till the time she met her old friends at kovan for dinner. Then going to Malaysia on the next day to visit my ah ma at hospital & a unique restaurant that used the toilet as a concept for their shop at a shopping mall..
Suddenly while on the bus to my gf area, got a news from my younger sister telling me to visit ah ma now, she is in a very serious condition...
got stoned , don't know what to do.. want to send gf home/go see my grandma myself...
Meanwhile my gf said this... We will go back take passport & we will go visit her together..
She will postpone to meet up with her old friends at kovan.
Feel so glad that my gf is not someone who will make unreasonable things,being so understanding...
So we go to each other house to take our passport & rush to the hospital.
Every mother side relatives were there, got a news of ah ma having a lump 3.5 x 4 x 4 cm at the big blood vessel near the heart..possibility of getting a cancer & got diabetes...
So we stay at msia to take turn see ah ma & take care of her in hospital.

Days in Gelang patach, realise that "san kim" are a very nice person,her personal background already have finance problem le yet still got help one another

Report of Ah Ma condition

Look at the * , means the number have exceeded & refer to the photo below to gauge the cancer but it will only be assumption, it is not a confirm answer.  

 Because of Ah Gong, his friends & brothers came to pay a respect to Ah Ma

We pray & read the whole books~ few times 

Newspaper

R.I.P
After taking care of her so much, hiring personal nurse to take care her while we sleep...everyone take turn to rub the fingers and toes which are in purple color, believing that miracle to happen & she will back to normal... but sadness no.... she stop breathing at Tuesday 3.40am...

Gf's parents purposely took off to attend my ah ma funeral, feel really appreciated for that & it was first time her parents met my parents... thanks to my mum who always got so much story to share with anyone. Reading my gf blog, with the photo of ah ma sending me in during enlistment, make me tears & feel sad that she cannot turn up for my POP..

My ah ma make the effort together with my family to send me in to tekong... & I planning to bring her to my graduation parade following Saturday to see me POP one but.... she passed away...
if only she still can move & stay with us few more weeks....
I was off all the way until Friday morning 7.30am ferry to tekong for the 24km plus to marina platform.
I was grateful that my OC allow me to off so many days for my ah ma funeral
p/s:是您在船上把我和我女朋友的手放在一起吗？脸上带着笑容的说”你们要相亲相爱,喔~＂。我要对您说，我们一定会的！一定会的！
" Ah Ma , An Xin bah"
Wo Men da le bu yong wei wo men zai dan xin le :)

Never forget the smiles on her face the one last time in the hospital & when she is send back home...
Never forget she love to cook bean curd skin, red wine chicken for us..... happy go lucky de Ah Ma
All these will be the memories you leave for us!
We love you~
Thank you Ah Ma
Ah Ma ~ R.I.P 

Get to book out early :D

Got a pay back to book out one day earlier than the rest!! :D
Counting down from months to weeks,  I guess i definitely going to miss all the things happened in PTP/BMT.

Planned so long & decided to sign on this week!
But name was not called the day before the signing & there wasn't any form of contract for me at all, reason is because I am not applicable to sign on due to my citizenship, a permanent resident.
Wasted all my time planned so hard for the past few weeks...
But never mind, there must be a reason why this route is meant for me. I believe there is an even better job opportunities other than SAF~

Got appointed as company IC, never once were there anyone who got this appointment before,got me feel shocked & I really don't know what i need to really do in this position.
But as i always said to my friends that I will always do my very best for every things that i am going to do,so I will do my best as I can to be the IC until they change a new IC.

That's all in army for the week :)
Now,move to the next one ~
My lovely girl ..........
Who is always there for me....
Days by days in Tekong, I always .....
never forget the moment when she tell me this,"I know that every guy want their girlfriend to be skinny & sexy, but I tried my best.The best & the only achievement I can do now is that I manage to get the line in between the stomach.I hate my lower body, I couldn't burn away all the fats at my lower body",with tears in her eyes & she carried on,"I,myself feel disgusted by the fats ,myself when I look into the mirror".

Just want to tell her this.... hey girl, don't give up! "JIAYOU!"...
:))

I Love You <3

(Weeks whereby my friend child is going to be 1 years old)

Last 4th week in BMT

IPPT
It was on Monday straight after field camp 4 days off~
I manage to get Gold once again & I am satisfied about myself, cleared my all SOC stations for the test as well.FELT LIKE AN ACHIEVEMENT WEEK!!!
Next week will be the final week to do my final decision if I am going to sign on~ (Navy Engineer), I want to be an engineer but I do not know how passionate will it be & how long will it last~
Comparison-
Outside engineering job will be lesser salary no matter what
Higher chance for promotion as to allow new regular to get promoted as well
Sponsor Degree
Cover all spending
All will be guys in engineering field, so no different in navy or private sector

~P/s: Since I do not know what i am going to do in future, then just sign to get in & if only I am not chosen to be in OCS, i will give up signing on.

Dream

Thursday night, got a weird dream of my girlfriend smoking(something like see-sha) at some weird area where all the people smoked as well, is not just a normal cigarette but was something more higher level type of cigarette.I was feeling sad, disappointed & I got very pissed off but I did not scold or vent my anger out, instead i am claiming myself down & talk to her nicely~ No sure what i say but was roughly asking her why she smoke & etc......And I got awake from my dream.
When I woke up, I could still feel the pain in my heart, disappointment everywhere inside.
(Couldn't really get what the dream is about)
Predicted I was just missed her until I feel pain inside me ~

Friday~
A day when i book out~
A day where she was invited & treated to go for the big bang concert & F1.
I am jealous & of course I do, I got angry actually but I am controlling it.
And I got all these things in my mind~
WHY?
Why do you choose me when there is someone who can give you more happiness than me?
Bring you to eat, places that are new to you, food that you never tried before, be there when you need someone to be, someone who can treat you to event like F1 which ticket costs more than $50 & above?
More happier outing compare to me? More activities compare to me? More wealth than me?
Make you travel so far to look for me instead of me looking for you? A person who is so boring?
WHY?
But as I said, I couldn't want to totally control over you then you will have no freedom anymore.
Moment that we discuss about $$$, if she was going to pay some or not..... easily go into fight.
Knowing that I am already like shit, with that shitty allowance of 400+?
Said to eat good food once a month, ended up still eating almost every week...
I am fine if I got money to pay,confirm I will be the gentleman to pay for you which what I always do..
She said that if I have $$$ issues one day just tell her, she will help to pay some... but when I mention about allowing her to pay some of the bill, she say that actually by right guy should pay for the entire bill because that's the way of a gentleman....then lastly she say, anyway don't talk about it, no matter how much she is going to pay for the meal,main thing is we two must be happy together to eat & she end the whole topic just like that.
Next, she always tell me not to put money priority so high in my list. But yet with a conclusion of the bill of the meal like this, a yes/no/maybe but not a confirm answer from her?Make me feel like she might be alright but actually she do mind that she need to pay for the meals? So what should i do?
When talking about if I should sign on or not, she say she will support me.... make me felt that if I really signed on, she will be happy because I got more income.
I couldn't know if all these thought was just a moment of anger or what but I have never tell anyone & I really do not know who to tell.... days in army make me learn to keep things to myself because it is more secured than telling anyone else & i guess is because if someone you loved you couldn't trust then there is no one else you can trust anymore.
To be frank, this generation without sufficient money is very hard to get a better life.

I don't know & i guess i really don't know.....I can hold this for how long~
I do I try, my very best to endure to accept to learn whatever it take to become.
Human got this special ability is that we adapt to changes very fast.

I really hope you can become a girl that is so lean,sexy and pretty like a model one day.
All the best~
(Wonder if one couple of our batch & senior breakup was it because of your existence~)


Lastly, I am really a lucky idiot who got the whole family members who are so pamper me.
(Younger sister mention about changing the light in my room because it is old & noisy,her bf do it for me)
Appreciate you all~

3 book in & we will be through! POP!
Time to sleep NIGHTS~

Field Camp in BMT~

During the days in my field camp, rain & storms keep coming.
How we wish it was the days when it was not outfield so we can skip the activity but sadly, it only happen during our out field.
A place where the it turns completely darkness after 7pm & only able to get some sunlight after 7am.

We were given ration food & biscuit to survive in the days outfield.It was lucky that my first pack was the nicest food , if i not wrong it was something like Lor ma kai, then followed by all those ration pack that is like shit.I ended up just eating biscuit for all my meals.(Miss the food in Cook house)

We will need to build our bersha tent with 3 bersha pole combined together each side (front & rear), 6 pins to hold one ground sheet in the air for shelter, another ground sheet on the ground as to land our items & sleep on.After setting up the tent, we will need to dig holes at the parameter of the tent, it is used to act as a drainage for the rain not to go into our ground sheet & was advised to put SAF powder all around the tent before we sleep, to keep insects to come inside the tent.
It was amazing while i was putting the powder all around me, i saw an ant U-turn back when it saw the powder.So this  prove that the powder really can keep the insects away while we are sleeping.

Regret not digging the hole well enough and it got my whole bersha tent flooded while the it rains, my buddy & me was not able to sleep in the tent, only keep not to keep ourself wet is to rest our butt on our helmet, preventing our underwear to be wet as well.
Day1 - rain in the afternoon
Day2 - rain in the early morning 3am
Day3 - Strongest rain from 12am - 4am plus
Day 3 was the day where we dig our shell scrip, we need to sleep inside it.But i was not able to sleep inside because I did not manage to dig it well enough to hide myself inside.Then because we are divided into different areas, we request to sleep altogether outside the "hole", it was nice that during field camp, the person which i dislike the most because of him being too straight forward that his words will hurt people sometimes when he speak, he become someone who i can talk to, play with.

At first he said that his parents were strict, so I predicted that his character can't go far because he is not allow to hang out with his friends much, he have to be at home before 7pm? WTF?
But my predicted was wrong, he is a tough & smart guy.
Felt sad for those type of people, he got the potential to go to command school but because of his girlfriend, he did not want to commit that much.Felt that a lot of people who are really a leaders, got potential to do things were not able to do so because of something that pull them back from doing it.
Sigh~
How i wish i was born to be one of the leaders as well. We chit chatted awhile & we rest during the night before the biggest rain ever comes.We stopped our conversation & rest at 10pm plus.
Then around 12am plus while sleeping, suddenly felt something drop onto me!
It was a rain & when i opened my eyes it is already very heavily ~
We woke up & we faster pack our stuff back to our bersha tent. We shiver like hell, our whole body was wet, carry our field bag, ILBV, riffle , guards ~ run back to our bersha tent that was so far away like 200m away.
It was the night when i starts to miss my home, where a place we did not worry much about rain no matter how heavy the rain is, we do not worry about our drain or our land because it is all built so nicely that we will be hardly be flooded in our house.Suddenly I think of what my mum told me, " One does not need to be rich, does not need to have anythings, what a person must have, is a HOME, a place that can provide you with shelter.", then I started to know how impact is this line matters to me now~
I though of going through all these shit together with my girlfriend, i feel that what i have go through was a very good experience for me, i miss her, i miss my families, i miss my home.
How i wish she was there for me when the heavy rain comes, i though of her ~
I dreamed about her being by my side when i was sleeping during day 1~
I couldn't know whats in my mind but i guess this is enough to prove myself that i really miss her~

After 3 days at the field camp site, we match with our feet so wet that it hurt while we walk all the way to our situation test site to carry on our 2 sit test the next two days.It rained again.....
But luckily the land my buddy & I having now, doesn't flood.
Saw fireflies while it rains, it is so beautiful...
Never ever though that i could see it anymore after leaving the house at Malaysia, I remember i saw it once at my Malaysia house when I off the light & it flying in the room while i was lying down getting ready to sleep, my sisters & I was admiring the firefly flying around our ceiling ( So young that i forget how old already) .

Days in the jungle, we are only allowed to bath with powder & this things called "pre-soap sponge", never will i use it if I never went to BMT, it is a sponge that already contain soap inside, what you need to do is that you just need to apply water into the sponge & you can use it to rub all over your body like you are bathing with a soap.Re-apply water, use it until there is totally no soap anymore in the sponge & you doesn't need to wash away those foam, leave it there & let it dry automatically & you will feel fresh again.
Powder bath was keep spamming the SAF powder onto your whole body to make your body more fresh too. I apply both of this method to survive throughout the whole nights in the jungle.

Almost forget, there will also have this moment whereby your commanders will come, say somethings make you reflect & think what you are doing in army.Making the atmosphere very emotional, then they give you back the letters that your parent wrote for you, people who are there to support you, people who always concern about you, people who are just there for you no matter what, opening up all the letter with those small little supportive words that they wrote for you.... it is really motivating to keep you going , you will feel touched & tears for their present with you all the way since young till now....
It was first time my mum wrote a letter for me... i really felt touched by the words she wrote inside to support to me, saying that I am a good son & etc....
I really appreciated her, grateful to have a mum like her who is always there for me regardless of sad,happy & what so ever..... =,)
(Tears drop again while typing this paragraph)

I like the outfield & I really thanks for the rain that created such wonderful moments in my life..... make me understand how much i must really appreciate all the things that I have now...
It was really a good experience for me which will never wanted to do it again next time...
I guess i might have a serious eyes injured by now if i never wore a glasses, my glasses helped me to block some shits that flew into my eyes while my buddy was firing..(Guess it was the mud that struck inside the blink attachment, then when it fire , the air pressure make the mud fly out the blink attachment, then to my eyes)
Now it got a small cracked at the right side~ but i thankful for the crack rather than the injured on my eyes.

Lastly, it was my 6th month anniversary with my girlfriend & it was first time that she sent the congratulation to me first before me~
Happy 6th month my girl ~
Thank you for your present in my life ~ :)
I Love You ~ <3

Greatest achievement in BMT

GOT TO BOOK OUT EARLY DUE TO MY IPPT GOLD :D
(Originally: 6.40 pm plus Ferry) ( Incentive for IPPT Gold: 1.30 pm Ferry)
HEHEHE~ GOOD DAY! :)
Finally I manage to get a gold once in my life ~
Always though that I will not able to get it & people who can ran with this timing is lunatic, but now, me myself , I am one too~
Hahahaha~
I am so happy that i am the first person to score Gold in IPPT in my platoon 1 which is like out of 57 people.
People start to respect me even more :)
Also, My IPPT Test was my girl last exam paper for her entire poly life ~ haha :)
GOOD GOOD DAY !!! :)

Soon it will be my outfield already, it was on next week, from Thursday to Wednesday then to a early book out from Thursday all the way to Sunday.
Days in BMT getting faster & faster and i think that when the day I am graduated(POP), I will never forget these 17 weeks in Pulau Tekong.

P/S: Never limit your ability, everyone can do it.
It is just how hard the person wan to limit themselves to become.

~OFF TOPIC~
Booked in on Sunday, my ngage phone suddenly was not able to send text message to anyone.
Instead of feeling sad, it was the opposite because I was able to talk on phone with my girl.
We don't use to talk much on phone but we rather just text & text & text.And because of us talking on phone more recently, I felt that we are not longer so strangers anymore. I felt like i have actually plenty of many many many things to tell her, one topic will link to another and so it goes on. :D
Good week inside Tekong (Week 11)

My Role as a boyfriend~

I am jealous, I am angry & I think one day I will just explode all this feelings out~
I am jealous of my girl being so close to my friend, time spent more than me, talk more than me.
Whenever talk about him, her expression change, suddenly so enthusiastic to carry on talking, always replied things so fast & confident like she know him so well, understand him so much better than me.
I just wonder if there is people asking about me, did she do that too?

I just felt like she is more happy with him than with me, they do more things compared to me & my girl.
Just met up with my friend, he mention about going F1 with my gf.
I was hot immediately, but i control , i calm myself down while still talking to him.
Try to recall if she have told me she went to F1 with him...... but i guess she have told me before long time ago.So after that, I calm myself down & let all the anger slowly gone~

This is the feeling I feel now but there is one thing over here, that is I do not want to lock her freedom so tight than she cant breath..... I do not want to control her life..
So instead of telling her... i keep this secret & force myself to suck it all up, one more reason is that the guy is really a good one that I used to trust....
But now it just always make me feel suspicious, & a but i believe my gf and my friend can be trust.

It just don't know why, I don't feel the trust in between this r/s ....instead, I am like cheating myself and forcing myself to trust this r/s, believe in her.

Felt bad that she want to accompany me on yesterday and i rejected her & said things that make her replied me saying that she is making unreasonable reason....Sry
Replying those answer just wanted to end the conversation with me ....& etc...
But the real reason is i don't mean any other things & I really want her to study~
Plus we really need to take a break between us due to the stupidity of me mentioning about the signing on thingy to her. Some more I was not explained clearly that have cause her to mislead what I am thinking about...
Misunderstanding~

There is times whereby I care about her, told her....
She felt irritated, she felt frustrated
Always showing that the method she do is correct, she is right
Then answering me that she is stubborn one....etc...
The thing is i really care for you, but you don't bother ,you give me attitude instead~
I hope .....I really hope that she can change this attitude.
Nobody is born to be stubborn in this world but instead everyone are born & to choose if they want to be stubborn or not~
I believe taking people negative comment about yourself don't feel good because me,myself I don't like to hear that too. I felt super offended when people say their comment about me.....
what i can say is.... who like to be judge?

NOBODY~
So is your choice to choose to accept & change
OR
To angry with the person and ignore what the person said......

Have you though about this?
Why do people even bother to comment about you,telling you all these?
REASON IS ~
THEY CARE ABOUT YOU !!!
THEY WANT YOU TO BE BETTER!!!
But after trying & trying, I have chose to be someone like this.....
It will be easier if you were to learn to accept what the person is than to comment,enforcing the person to change to the attitude that you want.Instead of pushing the blame to others, why not you blame yourself & take the initiative to change?

Ever since I got my girlfriend till now I have learnt to not putting blame onto anyone else,instead I should force myself to accept all the negative things about the person & just get over it.
I will try to say for the first few times, i will really try, but once the number of times I have said, make the person irritated & got me, myself tired, unhappiness between the person & me, I will just keep quiet , never mention about it again, suck them all up myself.
Why do I even need to bother if the person don't even care about themselves & treat what I said like as if I just want to find trouble with them?

Guess the reason my girlfriend & I got so sad,disappointment this week is because i suck it all up too much from the start till now.
Hope that the following day will be better each day~