No one like this
No one want to be this
The moment when you got so tired
Someone who get tired so easily
Feel so weak that a girl body are so much stronger than guy
Feel so useless when someone say that the amount of sleep they had is lesser than you yet still so energetic compared to you
Moment your expression changed
Moment I feel that why must you treat me this way
Moment I recall back my feeling & thought when you were in this state
I feel sad, disappointment, feel like just ignore you but I keep told myself not to let this few mins of stubborn thought ruin the future of us, it can be overcome, there is definitely other ways I can do to change this....
So it happen to me now & I worried
I feel sad, I feel like you were to ignore me the next moment
You never try, you just don't talk to me at that point of time
Inside my heart, the feeling of tiredness & sadness ......
I forced myself not to look so shag, so tired as I know how it feel like accompany someone like that for the rest of the day
Glad that at that moment you proved me wrong, you did tried to show concern
You talk to me although it was that little
I felt that I was all wrong again.....
I apologize for being such a spoiler of the day
I appreciate.. I really do appreciate..... realized I have been using this word "appreciate" very often
Because I really do appreciate a lot
Forgive me for the lack of vocabulary
Caused it to be like an ordinary word now
Lastly, you lost patience to me easily nowadays I couldn't know why
Probably I am really deaf, I am really sorry for that
To make you repeat
To make you explain
To make you look like you date with a country bumpkin
Most likely, I myself found that I have many, many, many , many bad points in me...
Found myself far, far ,far ,far away from what I myself expect it to be
Lots & lots of things need to be change...
As I move on it just accumulate more & more & I will never find any goods in me sooner or later due to the amount of bad points that had out numbered the good one in me
(One of my friend in camp share with me this & I find it is so true)
Have you ever come across this ~
You asked a question, someone answer you Yes or No but you were still in doubt?
You stick to what you think is true after all the answer that they gave due to the history of him/her?
You made the conclusion of your own without giving the person another chance to change?
End ~
I love you for what you did...
We face each other more after we got together...
Regardless of how tired we are
The expression of us when we really are
Is either we will see it now or in future
Believe both of us doesn't really know what to do when that happen
It doesn't matter
We slowly learn to react
We have time, we give one another chances, we grow from it
We accept the goods & bad of one another
Things that I can do I tried
Things that you do I felt it
Nobody is perfect yeah?
:)
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Bought a new computer after Exercise Centipede
Finally I manage to get my customize computer after so long~
Spent around $1.4k including a 23 inch monitor :)
(Glad that I am able to claim $820 from my Dad company, benefit for the employee to purchase any electronics items each year)
It had also been a long time which I really got the time to update my blog.
Exercise Centipede was a 10D9N in tekong which we were stay at this area called stagmont camp which is the very old type of bunk & we will sleep on the safari bed with air pillow.
During these 10 days, we were learning to do fire tactical movement in section level, basically close combat fire fighting fundamental in section level.
I find it so interesting at first, I got so excited to lead, I love it a lot a lot,at the moment i was imagining if one day really there is a war I will want to lead my man to fight & ensure that they will all be back safety. I felt so confident to lead at the start & I actually volunteer to lead all my section mate for a fire movement drill.
One drill will roughly take up approximately 20 mins. There i go, being a section commander, I was being praise by the commander that our section movement is better now , section is advancing at a good pace, maintaining a good momentum. This lead me having even more confident to lead. After the drill, we were assigned to do 6 mission using all the things that we were taught, I was chosen as one of the section commander, felt so happy that I was given an opportunity again.
This time round, the terrain wasn't that good compare to our training area & my helmet was a burden to me that got me so uncomfortable, keep covering my eye while i run that lead me not able to see enemy, in fact anything that is in front of me & I was shot down by the enemy caused me to failed as an section IC in the station & the section pass.
Moody, disappointment, sadness, got very emotional. No one in the camp actually i am really open up to, I don't feel comfortable to talk to anyone in there.
Lots of careless mistake were made during the exercise, at first I was substitution for my section commander because she was Attend C till day 2 in tekong so I didn't bring along the money that I have collected from my section mate for the last day of Recreation & Relax (R&R) pizza that is $330 for 11 person.
secondly, didn't take good care of my SAW weapon & leave it unattended while I am refilling my canteen & water bag. The person did told me that he shift my weapon because it is blocking him to refill water from the Jerry can, but I have to admit is my own fault that I am not able to muti-task. I did reply him alright but in the end i forgotten.
Thirdly, I leave my Map unattended ( It is important because if you fight a war & the map will usually have some indication of your movement, so if enemy got that in hand, they can roughly know our direction plans & will counter attack it easily)
Next, I leave my assault bag unattended ( Was being blame at first because someone took it, never take good care of it & it had my number on it during declaration while everyone have unpacked, packed & leave the training shed)
Lastly, I took care of one of my section mate Map & I anyhow placed it at someone else assault bag Caused the Platoon IC to worry, because it was me that our Platoon commander instructor got really angry & warned him, giving him one last chance.
Then never forget that I wore the wrong side of my boots. thinking back of all these things that i made, it might feel really bad at that moment but after awhile I felt that all these memory really very memorable for me & is really funny that I didn't realize I wore my boots wrong side after 2 hours later. Hahaha
I learnt something in the exercise that is if you ever met a situation you hesitate & think that if you were suppose to do it or not, you are in doubt.Then make sure you really think wisely of the action you made cause when you are in doubt means something is not right.
I also feel that my English was really a burden now, if I am to carry on to be what I am. It is not going to change, I will never change. I need to do something about it, I am an officer & if I speak like a fool with so many grammar mistake, limited vocabulary it don't reflect well on me to commander my man next time.
I always have difficulties to present what I need to say to all the people in my wing line.
Spent around $1.4k including a 23 inch monitor :)
(Glad that I am able to claim $820 from my Dad company, benefit for the employee to purchase any electronics items each year)
It had also been a long time which I really got the time to update my blog.
Exercise Centipede was a 10D9N in tekong which we were stay at this area called stagmont camp which is the very old type of bunk & we will sleep on the safari bed with air pillow.
During these 10 days, we were learning to do fire tactical movement in section level, basically close combat fire fighting fundamental in section level.
I find it so interesting at first, I got so excited to lead, I love it a lot a lot,at the moment i was imagining if one day really there is a war I will want to lead my man to fight & ensure that they will all be back safety. I felt so confident to lead at the start & I actually volunteer to lead all my section mate for a fire movement drill.
One drill will roughly take up approximately 20 mins. There i go, being a section commander, I was being praise by the commander that our section movement is better now , section is advancing at a good pace, maintaining a good momentum. This lead me having even more confident to lead. After the drill, we were assigned to do 6 mission using all the things that we were taught, I was chosen as one of the section commander, felt so happy that I was given an opportunity again.
This time round, the terrain wasn't that good compare to our training area & my helmet was a burden to me that got me so uncomfortable, keep covering my eye while i run that lead me not able to see enemy, in fact anything that is in front of me & I was shot down by the enemy caused me to failed as an section IC in the station & the section pass.
Moody, disappointment, sadness, got very emotional. No one in the camp actually i am really open up to, I don't feel comfortable to talk to anyone in there.
Lots of careless mistake were made during the exercise, at first I was substitution for my section commander because she was Attend C till day 2 in tekong so I didn't bring along the money that I have collected from my section mate for the last day of Recreation & Relax (R&R) pizza that is $330 for 11 person.
secondly, didn't take good care of my SAW weapon & leave it unattended while I am refilling my canteen & water bag. The person did told me that he shift my weapon because it is blocking him to refill water from the Jerry can, but I have to admit is my own fault that I am not able to muti-task. I did reply him alright but in the end i forgotten.
Thirdly, I leave my Map unattended ( It is important because if you fight a war & the map will usually have some indication of your movement, so if enemy got that in hand, they can roughly know our direction plans & will counter attack it easily)
Next, I leave my assault bag unattended ( Was being blame at first because someone took it, never take good care of it & it had my number on it during declaration while everyone have unpacked, packed & leave the training shed)
Lastly, I took care of one of my section mate Map & I anyhow placed it at someone else assault bag Caused the Platoon IC to worry, because it was me that our Platoon commander instructor got really angry & warned him, giving him one last chance.
Then never forget that I wore the wrong side of my boots. thinking back of all these things that i made, it might feel really bad at that moment but after awhile I felt that all these memory really very memorable for me & is really funny that I didn't realize I wore my boots wrong side after 2 hours later. Hahaha
I learnt something in the exercise that is if you ever met a situation you hesitate & think that if you were suppose to do it or not, you are in doubt.Then make sure you really think wisely of the action you made cause when you are in doubt means something is not right.
I also feel that my English was really a burden now, if I am to carry on to be what I am. It is not going to change, I will never change. I need to do something about it, I am an officer & if I speak like a fool with so many grammar mistake, limited vocabulary it don't reflect well on me to commander my man next time.
I always have difficulties to present what I need to say to all the people in my wing line.
Friday, November 29, 2013
Rush & rush
Got navigation at Mandai camp, saw a lot of the durians & my section went to pick it up & eat ~
Get to fire SAW weapon that is just so cool~
Exercise cocoon was held & it was so lucky that our WC let us stay in our Wing line to sleep compared to other Wing
Do quite a numbers of movement drill & weapon handling test, found it a good challenge & just going to do my best
Not going to say much about army stuff, maybe it will be a little more on thoughts & feel more
Felt that it is scary when you see this person who look normal yet he can suddenly say those things that you never expect him to be, knowledge that he had.....
People will forever to step on you if you never fight back, they will take advantage of you...
You observe people, at the same time do you know that people are also observing you?
I have always underestimated myself, underestimate people
This all got to change -
See people how they reply you, how their face are when they speak, don't blame them , just get use to it & don't be afraid -
Because they used to born to have their expression & etc...
Learn to accept it & continue to do what you think you are right
Nothing is wrong or right if it does not involve any human lives for an exchange~
No matter how good, how bad you are, don't be affected by people who dislike you
Because no matter what you do what you don't do if the person don't like you, means don't like
Just carry on~
Just isolate people who don't appreciate you~
Got back my iphone that was spoil during my graduation, saw the last updated whatsapp twitter....
Was the day I enlisted into National Service
12/6/2013
Remind me of my ah ma
Saw those photos of my girl & I :D
Going to use back my repaired phone! Screen color is so much nicer :)
END
~Rushing week~
Get to fire SAW weapon that is just so cool~
Exercise cocoon was held & it was so lucky that our WC let us stay in our Wing line to sleep compared to other Wing
Do quite a numbers of movement drill & weapon handling test, found it a good challenge & just going to do my best
Not going to say much about army stuff, maybe it will be a little more on thoughts & feel more
Felt that it is scary when you see this person who look normal yet he can suddenly say those things that you never expect him to be, knowledge that he had.....
People will forever to step on you if you never fight back, they will take advantage of you...
You observe people, at the same time do you know that people are also observing you?
I have always underestimated myself, underestimate people
This all got to change -
See people how they reply you, how their face are when they speak, don't blame them , just get use to it & don't be afraid -
Because they used to born to have their expression & etc...
Learn to accept it & continue to do what you think you are right
Nothing is wrong or right if it does not involve any human lives for an exchange~
No matter how good, how bad you are, don't be affected by people who dislike you
Because no matter what you do what you don't do if the person don't like you, means don't like
Just carry on~
Just isolate people who don't appreciate you~
Got back my iphone that was spoil during my graduation, saw the last updated whatsapp twitter....
Was the day I enlisted into National Service
12/6/2013
Remind me of my ah ma
Saw those photos of my girl & I :D
Going to use back my repaired phone! Screen color is so much nicer :)
END
~Rushing week~
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Ippt/Sat Book out
Fitness got affected by motivation.
Got sliver in my IPPT.
Sigh~
SBJ - 230
Chin-up - 8
2.4km - 10.21 min
Days in OCS don't feel so motivated like in BMT..
Striving to get the motivation back ~
Guess the amount of sleep maybe really affect my performance?
Shall sleep early next week onward.
Got a first warning from my PC because of me not able to do the matador & M203 drill properly,
fall asleep most of the time in lecture.
Going to change it!
I must overcome my blurriness!
I am going to overcome it! I hate the confusion or blur side of me every time for whatever things I do
No confident standing in front of all the audience
Got stay back till sat then can book out, we were sent to the Jurong 2nd link custom few kilometer away from the bridge doing our Matador & M203 live firing ~
Overal in my mind I just hope when the day I bring you to the night~
I could make you feel proud to stand beside me
~ Short & sweet blog for this week
If a day I don't change, I will always remain...
List to do -
1. Able to accept people saying offensive words to me
2. Be more alert
3. Change my lazy mindset
4. Excel in everything i do
5. Overcome whatever shit that make me scared or blur
6. Make it happen!
Last & not least, I HAVE SOLD MY DESKTOP LAST WEEK~
Price of $200 for the whole set
Very last min before i book in camp I get to sell it away ~
:D
Got sliver in my IPPT.
Sigh~
SBJ - 230
Chin-up - 8
2.4km - 10.21 min
Days in OCS don't feel so motivated like in BMT..
Striving to get the motivation back ~
Guess the amount of sleep maybe really affect my performance?
Shall sleep early next week onward.
Got a first warning from my PC because of me not able to do the matador & M203 drill properly,
fall asleep most of the time in lecture.
Going to change it!
I must overcome my blurriness!
I am going to overcome it! I hate the confusion or blur side of me every time for whatever things I do
No confident standing in front of all the audience
Got stay back till sat then can book out, we were sent to the Jurong 2nd link custom few kilometer away from the bridge doing our Matador & M203 live firing ~
Overal in my mind I just hope when the day I bring you to the night~
I could make you feel proud to stand beside me
~ Short & sweet blog for this week
If a day I don't change, I will always remain...
List to do -
1. Able to accept people saying offensive words to me
2. Be more alert
3. Change my lazy mindset
4. Excel in everything i do
5. Overcome whatever shit that make me scared or blur
6. Make it happen!
Last & not least, I HAVE SOLD MY DESKTOP LAST WEEK~
Price of $200 for the whole set
Very last min before i book in camp I get to sell it away ~
:D
Sunday, November 17, 2013
4th week in OCS
Back from leadership challenge 3D2N camp
Day 1 - build a big tent for a section size group to sleep
Day 1 - build a big tent for a section size group to sleep
Day 2 - Sleep in the jungle alone
Never forget being reprimanded while i was in deep sleep on the first night, we are not allowed to wear boots & sleep (hygiene).
Woke up with my buddy & we was rushing to take off our boots & get back to sleep.
Woke up with my buddy & we was rushing to take off our boots & get back to sleep.
It was a very fun & exciting experience for the staying in jungle on the 2nd night.
We will only be given a ground sheet & a trash bag we need to build a shelter alone, no longer like in BMT sleeping with buddy under same shelter.
Cut the trash bag into half & use it for me to sleep on.
We will also require to do reflection after we build our shelter in the jungle.
We will only be given a ground sheet & a trash bag we need to build a shelter alone, no longer like in BMT sleeping with buddy under same shelter.
Cut the trash bag into half & use it for me to sleep on.
We will also require to do reflection after we build our shelter in the jungle.
It was a very peaceful to be alone in jungle.
Then we was told to do a section gift, i took a dead fall and crave something for my section
I craved a wood with all the outer rough surface being cut away.
It represent us, we are just a random group of people who were chosen by the MINDEF, dead fall everywhere in jungle..
Reason it is cut into the inner layer, it represent that our relationship, as we know each other better, we will do things more better & smoother ,that's why the surface become smoother & the outer layer is being cut away.
The candle liquid that is form outside the wood represent our swear, the whole wood represent our wing.
I crave very late at night, while i was cutting it, suddenly I though of my girl, thinking that it was our 8months together I couldn't able to get a things for her, so i crave something for her represent us, a wood that crave our date together and a heart shape behind, then ask her to write her name on one side of her love shape & i will write my name on one side of the love shape. Then combine together it represent I <3 her .
So i crave until very late before i went to sleep.
The next day, woke up ....
We were told to fall in down the slope out the jungle on the main road, marching back to wing line.
While we were told to fall in....
My PC called out my name infront of everyone, ask me to look for my section PC later...
Being paranoid of me, I keep thinking what i did yesterday that resulted into this....
The whole journey back to wing line I was thinking & thinking...
After we reached our wing line, we were told to fall in at the training shed within 3 min...
We ran!We rushed!
But we couldn't hit the timing, then we were told to fall in a basketball court within 3 min again~
At this moment, my PC shouted out for me!
"Where OCT ZHI WEI ?","Come look for me now!!",
I ran over & he keep question me, what have i done wrong.... keep asking me to recall & "mind fuck" me..
I think over & over again... asking if it because i sleep too late or I light my candle beside my shelter...
Then he said I did something that causes the platoon PC unhappy about me...
Asked me to run to the court & explain to him & form up together with them...
-Everyone was already in push up position & they are already doing push up few times ....
Then once again I was being question again, "mind-fucked" again, asking me what I did & want me to explain to everyone...
But i tried & try & the answer was wrong...
So he said " Nevermind... now you tell me , how many push up they have done?"
I answer it wrong... someone corrected me that they did 22..
That make me blur, confused & don't know what to do.... felt guilty to make the platoon to do push up because of me "once again"..
So.... while i keep thinking & thinking..
Sir asked me one last time,"So you know why they are being knock-down? "
He continue to say," Nevermind... everyone recover!"
~B'day songs started .... everyone recover & sing b'day song to me..
hahahaha it was a memorable b'day I could get in my camp...
Also that day was the exact b'day date of mine...
Got really surprise & appreciate the mini-celebration of cake for all the oct/nov people in Sierra wing.
Next.... got my gf angry on sat, reason was same again..
Answer her in a rude way because of her asking me if I wanted to go into that cafe to have our dinner..
The kindness of her resulted in the rudeness of mine , but I appreciate how fast she can forget & forgive me~
I really really feel bad for reacting such attitude towards her...
Got to note it down all the bad things i done & make sure I know what have i done wrong....
Recall & learn from my mistake..
Reflect - I got to know this.. I am tired , my girl also tired but just because of my selfishness I neglected her feeling?
I should learn to know what i am doing, saying no matter what...
Tired = excuse
I will not use it as an excuse for whatever i have done wrong~
(Rushing through post)
Then we was told to do a section gift, i took a dead fall and crave something for my section
I craved a wood with all the outer rough surface being cut away.
It represent us, we are just a random group of people who were chosen by the MINDEF, dead fall everywhere in jungle..
Reason it is cut into the inner layer, it represent that our relationship, as we know each other better, we will do things more better & smoother ,that's why the surface become smoother & the outer layer is being cut away.
The candle liquid that is form outside the wood represent our swear, the whole wood represent our wing.
I crave very late at night, while i was cutting it, suddenly I though of my girl, thinking that it was our 8months together I couldn't able to get a things for her, so i crave something for her represent us, a wood that crave our date together and a heart shape behind, then ask her to write her name on one side of her love shape & i will write my name on one side of the love shape. Then combine together it represent I <3 her .
So i crave until very late before i went to sleep.
The next day, woke up ....
We were told to fall in down the slope out the jungle on the main road, marching back to wing line.
While we were told to fall in....
My PC called out my name infront of everyone, ask me to look for my section PC later...
Being paranoid of me, I keep thinking what i did yesterday that resulted into this....
The whole journey back to wing line I was thinking & thinking...
After we reached our wing line, we were told to fall in at the training shed within 3 min...
We ran!We rushed!
But we couldn't hit the timing, then we were told to fall in a basketball court within 3 min again~
At this moment, my PC shouted out for me!
"Where OCT ZHI WEI ?","Come look for me now!!",
I ran over & he keep question me, what have i done wrong.... keep asking me to recall & "mind fuck" me..
I think over & over again... asking if it because i sleep too late or I light my candle beside my shelter...
Then he said I did something that causes the platoon PC unhappy about me...
Asked me to run to the court & explain to him & form up together with them...
-Everyone was already in push up position & they are already doing push up few times ....
Then once again I was being question again, "mind-fucked" again, asking me what I did & want me to explain to everyone...
But i tried & try & the answer was wrong...
So he said " Nevermind... now you tell me , how many push up they have done?"
I answer it wrong... someone corrected me that they did 22..
That make me blur, confused & don't know what to do.... felt guilty to make the platoon to do push up because of me "once again"..
So.... while i keep thinking & thinking..
Sir asked me one last time,"So you know why they are being knock-down? "
He continue to say," Nevermind... everyone recover!"
~B'day songs started .... everyone recover & sing b'day song to me..
hahahaha it was a memorable b'day I could get in my camp...
Also that day was the exact b'day date of mine...
Got really surprise & appreciate the mini-celebration of cake for all the oct/nov people in Sierra wing.
Next.... got my gf angry on sat, reason was same again..
Answer her in a rude way because of her asking me if I wanted to go into that cafe to have our dinner..
The kindness of her resulted in the rudeness of mine , but I appreciate how fast she can forget & forgive me~
I really really feel bad for reacting such attitude towards her...
Got to note it down all the bad things i done & make sure I know what have i done wrong....
Recall & learn from my mistake..
Reflect - I got to know this.. I am tired , my girl also tired but just because of my selfishness I neglected her feeling?
I should learn to know what i am doing, saying no matter what...
Tired = excuse
I will not use it as an excuse for whatever i have done wrong~
(Rushing through post)
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Date out~
I guess this is just fate~
I just realize without her knowing that this morning both of us late was because we were blogging!
HAHA~
Doing the same thing without each other knowing !
I just realize without her knowing that this morning both of us late was because we were blogging!
HAHA~
Doing the same thing without each other knowing !
Actually it is already a good start but didn't get to know~
First time I guess I really use some effort for the itinerary for the outing, I realize this in me
I always limiting myself to move on further
First time I guess I really use some effort for the itinerary for the outing, I realize this in me
I always limiting myself to move on further
This shall change~
I have been stubborn for too long, it is time to wake up
I have been stubborn for too long, it is time to wake up
I have always been blurred, it is time to be awake
I have always in my comfort zone, it is time to shift to a new zone to stop limiting myself to further move on
I have never been so happy before
An early start of having of such filling & delicious breakfast at marina bay sands
Don't really eat such sophisticated food but it was my girlfriend who make me experience such a perfect meal for the day
Don't really eat such sophisticated food but it was my girlfriend who make me experience such a perfect meal for the day
Then we went to the Museum, wanting to get a $15/person entry to take a look inside
But we were lucky there is another opening of Channel brand gallery for us to enter & it is free!
Followed by a shopping in H&M! I didn't expect to find such an affordable price of $79.80 of a long pants & a long sleeve shirt, so I decided to buy it straight! haha
Followed by a shopping in H&M! I didn't expect to find such an affordable price of $79.80 of a long pants & a long sleeve shirt, so I decided to buy it straight! haha
After all the activity until evening time, we went to take a night ride of cable car that cost cheaper for a couple for the ride & a promotion of two coke & a popcorn.
We took all the way to sentosa, back to Harbont tower then to The jewel to have a dessert to end our day.
The main thing I wanted to say was not about the activity for the day, it is more about the person I am with that have make my day so colorful & wonderful
The main thing I wanted to say was not about the activity for the day, it is more about the person I am with that have make my day so colorful & wonderful
I feel so satisfied with the smile on you from the start till the end when i send you home
It had been so long i felt this way
It had been so long i felt this way
You really make my day, an advance b'day gift like this is enough for me
The biggest gift on Earth was to meet you
To gain a girlfriend which is you
To gain a girlfriend which is you
To have that smile on your face
To feel so loved by you
To be able to love someone that's you
Day have ended pretty well for me tonight & I hope this day will really be a good memory for us
Let it be the day where it really considered as we start fresh once again with the little changes in us!
I only want the number of days being together to keep on going
I will fight till the end
I only want the number of days being together to keep on going
I will fight till the end
I believe nothing can stop this spirit in me to end!
FIGHTING*
:DD
FIGHTING*
:DD
Friday, November 8, 2013
Memories are the most precious & only things you can get after all~
It was a good news that i went back home friday night & I heard my Mum strike 4D again!
She always posted about the memories with grandmother, I can see she really appreciate her a lot a lot.
She always tell me the funny moment of them together, going out to play together, the days they used to spent together ever since she was young.Whenever they mentioned about when mum was young, I can always see the smile on their face, things that my mum have done, all those silly things when everyone will do when they are young. Haha~ at least they have those good memories spent together.
Ones could leave anytime
Appreciate them
Appreciate the love
Appreciate for all the things they have taught you
Only things they can leave is the memories
Those good moments...
Everyone have their tough moment
Is the tough moment that you went through that make you strong that create those good memories in you
I never expect after 21st b'day, my family still celebrate my B'day.
I got to be back OCS during my B'day, but they did a advance mini-celebration for me.
Haha I guess it was a huge amount of prize she won ~ 5 digits! In RM dollar.
She always posted about the memories with grandmother, I can see she really appreciate her a lot a lot.
She always tell me the funny moment of them together, going out to play together, the days they used to spent together ever since she was young.Whenever they mentioned about when mum was young, I can always see the smile on their face, things that my mum have done, all those silly things when everyone will do when they are young. Haha~ at least they have those good memories spent together.
Ones could leave anytime
Appreciate them
Appreciate the love
Appreciate for all the things they have taught you
Only things they can leave is the memories
Those good moments...
Everyone have their tough moment
Is the tough moment that you went through that make you strong that create those good memories in you
I never expect after 21st b'day, my family still celebrate my B'day.
I got to be back OCS during my B'day, but they did a advance mini-celebration for me.
A&F T-shirt from my elder sister
A lip kiss mark on the Ang Bao of $150 from younger sister
My bike insurance that cost $950 from Dad
A lip kiss mark on the Ang Bao of $150 from younger sister
My bike insurance that cost $950 from Dad
Baked caked in a love shaped box from my girlfriend
(Skipped school to specially spend the time baking for me)
:DD
(Skipped school to specially spend the time baking for me)
:DD
Mum bought me a lot of things all the while even it is not my b'day so i didnt expect anything from her ~
:)
:)
I am grateful to have all these things from them
I appreciate
I love them
Lastly,
I know I may look childish when I told you I am jealous, I do mind you going out with another guy solo.
I never forget how angry I was when you told me , "then we shouldn't continue anymore"
You know what i think? I feel?
I felt like, are you saying that our r/s not going to continue anymore?
Because of a stranger in my life who asked you out for dinner?
A stranger of mine that could make us fight?
Someone who worth nothing to me affect someone who worth so much so much to me?
You told me is his be-lated b'day, so you finally accepted to go out with him~
I never forget the past when I am in secondary school friends around me told me this, " hey, you want to ask her out is it? Very easy one, just ask her out on your b'day, your b'day she confirm will come out with you one."
Accepting him to go out is 1X
Then secondly, I felt so so so so so hurtful that you shown no guilty yet happy with him.
Thinking of the past when we are not together
I keep encourage you, just go out with the guy, I will be fine
You feel uncomfortable & guilty after all.
But now you act totally opposite
This is 2X
Followed by the place that you two go
You have went to a place which among so many place we went before it had never been so nice before
So romantic
This is 3X
In total I got 3 times anger in me.
I don't know how it feel like but I really really really want to say it out because I really do not know where should I talk to
I don't like sharing my r/s with another other
Because I believe everyone will teach different way & their style may make mine worst
So I trust only myself & my partner in my r/s
This is the moment of though in my mind
I felt like I am really a boring person who can't satisfy you
I felt like the person is really so interesting or maybe he have successfully flirted you to make you so wanting to go out with him
I felt like I am lost whereby I couldn't angry I couldn't express what I am supposed to & got to act opposite of what my original reaction was
I am really lost but only thing in my mind is I don't want to lost my girl
Reason you can be so claim, at the point of time my mind think was this
Reason you can be so claim is because I don't even want to contact another girl
Don't even want to communicate with another girl
So going out with another girl alone is totally not going to happen at all
With this, how unsecured can you be?
But I am stating this not to make you feel bad
I just want to let you know you are really really important to me
And no one else
I just want to state all these down for my own reference
This is no blame to one another
I learnt from it
My reaction is normal to be like this because I really love you
I find no wrong having such reaction
But I would want to say this,
My feeling of being such a way there is no wrong
And
Yes I have act opposite of what I am, I did it right!
Because by showing what my original action will make this situation more worst
Well done
I am doing the right thing
Things take time to get adapted to it, we are human
We can be easily change
I believe I can change , it can be done so I find no reason for not facing this challenge
If such a small thing I cant handle then in future how am I given a big task to handle any other things?
I hope I hope...
Someone would enlighten me at that moment, that's all I got to say.
Baby~
End of the day
Just want to tell you, if you feel hurt reading this?
This is what I was when you are out there.
But I believe this no pain no gain
I want to gain more so I AM GOING TO TELL YOU!
I AM WILLING TO ACCEPTING ANY MORE CHALLENGE FROM YOU! :DD
HEHEHE~
LEARN & GROW!
I AM GOING TO KEEP YOU GOOD GOOD!
:)
I appreciate
I love them
Lastly,
I know I may look childish when I told you I am jealous, I do mind you going out with another guy solo.
I never forget how angry I was when you told me , "then we shouldn't continue anymore"
You know what i think? I feel?
I felt like, are you saying that our r/s not going to continue anymore?
Because of a stranger in my life who asked you out for dinner?
A stranger of mine that could make us fight?
Someone who worth nothing to me affect someone who worth so much so much to me?
You told me is his be-lated b'day, so you finally accepted to go out with him~
I never forget the past when I am in secondary school friends around me told me this, " hey, you want to ask her out is it? Very easy one, just ask her out on your b'day, your b'day she confirm will come out with you one."
Accepting him to go out is 1X
Then secondly, I felt so so so so so hurtful that you shown no guilty yet happy with him.
Thinking of the past when we are not together
I keep encourage you, just go out with the guy, I will be fine
You feel uncomfortable & guilty after all.
But now you act totally opposite
This is 2X
Followed by the place that you two go
You have went to a place which among so many place we went before it had never been so nice before
So romantic
This is 3X
In total I got 3 times anger in me.
I don't know how it feel like but I really really really want to say it out because I really do not know where should I talk to
I don't like sharing my r/s with another other
Because I believe everyone will teach different way & their style may make mine worst
So I trust only myself & my partner in my r/s
This is the moment of though in my mind
I felt like I am really a boring person who can't satisfy you
I felt like the person is really so interesting or maybe he have successfully flirted you to make you so wanting to go out with him
I felt like I am lost whereby I couldn't angry I couldn't express what I am supposed to & got to act opposite of what my original reaction was
I am really lost but only thing in my mind is I don't want to lost my girl
Reason you can be so claim, at the point of time my mind think was this
Reason you can be so claim is because I don't even want to contact another girl
Don't even want to communicate with another girl
So going out with another girl alone is totally not going to happen at all
With this, how unsecured can you be?
But I am stating this not to make you feel bad
I just want to let you know you are really really important to me
And no one else
I just want to state all these down for my own reference
This is no blame to one another
I learnt from it
My reaction is normal to be like this because I really love you
I find no wrong having such reaction
But I would want to say this,
My feeling of being such a way there is no wrong
And
Yes I have act opposite of what I am, I did it right!
Because by showing what my original action will make this situation more worst
Well done
I am doing the right thing
Things take time to get adapted to it, we are human
We can be easily change
I believe I can change , it can be done so I find no reason for not facing this challenge
If such a small thing I cant handle then in future how am I given a big task to handle any other things?
I hope I hope...
Someone would enlighten me at that moment, that's all I got to say.
Baby~
End of the day
Just want to tell you, if you feel hurt reading this?
This is what I was when you are out there.
But I believe this no pain no gain
I want to gain more so I AM GOING TO TELL YOU!
I AM WILLING TO ACCEPTING ANY MORE CHALLENGE FROM YOU! :DD
HEHEHE~
LEARN & GROW!
I AM GOING TO KEEP YOU GOOD GOOD!
:)
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