BMT Week 1

BMT have started finally... and i manage to volunteer to be the platoon In-Charge .... :D
First day was half-fk as usual, i guess this is my character...... then no matter what instruction i gave to my platoon, no one will listen. It is all about how you present your instruction to the people "under" you, if you speak with confident... people will feel like listening to you..

As days go on, i felt that being an IC in the platoon getting more and more interesting and enjoying because you are commanding 50 plus people to follow your instructions. My section mate who i always feel like they like unhappy with whatever i do, actually i am wrong, they are the people who are really there to help me by keep giving me feedback .... with them i am able to improve & learn to be an IC. It feel so great when people compliment you that you are doing a good job being a platoon IC :D

Overall,Platoon IC was a fun and interesting role & i felt that i have learn smth new on the first week of BMT.

Moving on....
I felt that I am easily getting jealous of who my girl get close to, i just never wanted to tell her,dont want her to be so restricted to whatever things she do, learning to accept,adapt to this.
Day before bookout, I felt tat i have hurt her by not believing what she said to me(doing things that she dont usually do),feeling that the real reason for this is it because of meeting this particular person?
Question over here, is it normal to feel this way?(Jealous?Or insecure?)
How am I suppose to trust it when you are suspecting smth not right in this?
If she ask me,"so you dont trust me?", how will i answer her?
Answer her ,"I believe", but...... (still with a lot curiousness in mind?)
But problem here is i really dont believe so why must i have to bluff myself to tell her that I "believe"?
Instead of asking, why not use action to prove me that i can believe it?

This is what i feel on that day when i received the text.....
But next day i feel better & i dont feel so paranoid, pessimistic anymore so I guess I am just tired the day before......
Just hope that in future my girl dont get pissed off with me ......by all this shit~

P/S- Days will get better,Life will get happier :D