Thursday, September 26, 2013

Get to book out early :D

Got a pay back to book out one day earlier than the rest!! :D
Counting down from months to weeks,  I guess i definitely going to miss all the things happened in PTP/BMT.

Planned so long & decided to sign on this week!
But name was not called the day before the signing & there wasn't any form of contract for me at all, reason is because I am not applicable to sign on due to my citizenship, a permanent resident.
Wasted all my time planned so hard for the past few weeks...
But never mind, there must be a reason why this route is meant for me. I believe there is an even better job opportunities other than SAF~

Got appointed as company IC, never once were there anyone who got this appointment before,got me feel shocked & I really don't know what i need to really do in this position.
But as i always said to my friends that I will always do my very best for every things that i am going to do,so I will do my best as I can to be the IC until they change a new IC.

That's all in army for the week :)
Now,move to the next one ~
My lovely girl ..........
Who is always there for me....
Days by days in Tekong, I always .....
never forget the moment when she tell me this,"I know that every guy want their girlfriend to be skinny & sexy, but I tried my best.The best & the only achievement I can do now is that I manage to get the line in between the stomach.I hate my lower body, I couldn't burn away all the fats at my lower body",with tears in her eyes & she carried on,"I,myself feel disgusted by the fats ,myself when I look into the mirror".

Just want to tell her this.... hey girl, don't give up! "JIAYOU!"...

I Love You <3

(Weeks whereby my friend child is going to be 1 years old)

Friday, September 20, 2013

Last 4th week in BMT

It was on Monday straight after field camp 4 days off~
I manage to get Gold once again & I am satisfied about myself, cleared my all SOC stations for the test as well.FELT LIKE AN ACHIEVEMENT WEEK!!!
Next week will be the final week to do my final decision if I am going to sign on~ (Navy Engineer), I want to be an engineer but I do not know how passionate will it be & how long will it last~
Outside engineering job will be lesser salary no matter what
Higher chance for promotion as to allow new regular to get promoted as well
Sponsor Degree
Cover all spending
All will be guys in engineering field, so no different in navy or private sector

~P/s: Since I do not know what i am going to do in future, then just sign to get in & if only I am not chosen to be in OCS, i will give up signing on.


Thursday night, got a weird dream of my girlfriend smoking(something like see-sha) at some weird area where all the people smoked as well, is not just a normal cigarette but was something more higher level type of cigarette.I was feeling sad, disappointed & I got very pissed off but I did not scold or vent my anger out, instead i am claiming myself down & talk to her nicely~ No sure what i say but was roughly asking her why she smoke & etc......And I got awake from my dream.
When I woke up, I could still feel the pain in my heart, disappointment everywhere inside.
(Couldn't really get what the dream is about)
Predicted I was just missed her until I feel pain inside me ~

A day when i book out~
A day where she was invited & treated to go for the big bang concert & F1.
I am jealous & of course I do, I got angry actually but I am controlling it.
And I got all these things in my mind~
Why do you choose me when there is someone who can give you more happiness than me?
Bring you to eat, places that are new to you, food that you never tried before, be there when you need someone to be, someone who can treat you to event like F1 which ticket costs more than $50 & above?
More happier outing compare to me? More activities compare to me? More wealth than me?
Make you travel so far to look for me instead of me looking for you? A person who is so boring?
But as I said, I couldn't want to totally control over you then you will have no freedom anymore.
Moment that we discuss about $$$, if she was going to pay some or not..... easily go into fight.
Knowing that I am already like shit, with that shitty allowance of 400+?
Said to eat good food once a month, ended up still eating almost every week...
I am fine if I got money to pay,confirm I will be the gentleman to pay for you which what I always do..
She said that if I have $$$ issues one day just tell her, she will help to pay some... but when I mention about allowing her to pay some of the bill, she say that actually by right guy should pay for the entire bill because that's the way of a gentleman....then lastly she say, anyway don't talk about it, no matter how much she is going to pay for the meal,main thing is we two must be happy together to eat & she end the whole topic just like that.
Next, she always tell me not to put money priority so high in my list. But yet with a conclusion of the bill of the meal like this, a yes/no/maybe but not a confirm answer from her?Make me feel like she might be alright but actually she do mind that she need to pay for the meals? So what should i do?
When talking about if I should sign on or not, she say she will support me.... make me felt that if I really signed on, she will be happy because I got more income.
I couldn't know if all these thought was just a moment of anger or what but I have never tell anyone & I really do not know who to tell.... days in army make me learn to keep things to myself because it is more secured than telling anyone else & i guess is because if someone you loved you couldn't trust then there is no one else you can trust anymore.
To be frank, this generation without sufficient money is very hard to get a better life.

I don't know & i guess i really don't know.....I can hold this for how long~
I do I try, my very best to endure to accept to learn whatever it take to become.
Human got this special ability is that we adapt to changes very fast.

I really hope you can become a girl that is so lean,sexy and pretty like a model one day.
All the best~
(Wonder if one couple of our batch & senior breakup was it because of your existence~)

Lastly, I am really a lucky idiot who got the whole family members who are so pamper me.
(Younger sister mention about changing the light in my room because it is old & noisy,her bf do it for me)
Appreciate you all~

3 book in & we will be through! POP!
Time to sleep NIGHTS~

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Field Camp in BMT~

During the days in my field camp, rain & storms keep coming.
How we wish it was the days when it was not outfield so we can skip the activity but sadly, it only happen during our out field.
A place where the it turns completely darkness after 7pm & only able to get some sunlight after 7am.

We were given ration food & biscuit to survive in the days outfield.It was lucky that my first pack was the nicest food , if i not wrong it was something like Lor ma kai, then followed by all those ration pack that is like shit.I ended up just eating biscuit for all my meals.(Miss the food in Cook house)

We will need to build our bersha tent with 3 bersha pole combined together each side (front & rear), 6 pins to hold one ground sheet in the air for shelter, another ground sheet on the ground as to land our items & sleep on.After setting up the tent, we will need to dig holes at the parameter of the tent, it is used to act as a drainage for the rain not to go into our ground sheet & was advised to put SAF powder all around the tent before we sleep, to keep insects to come inside the tent.
It was amazing while i was putting the powder all around me, i saw an ant U-turn back when it saw the powder.So this  prove that the powder really can keep the insects away while we are sleeping.

Regret not digging the hole well enough and it got my whole bersha tent flooded while the it rains, my buddy & me was not able to sleep in the tent, only keep not to keep ourself wet is to rest our butt on our helmet, preventing our underwear to be wet as well.
Day1 - rain in the afternoon
Day2 - rain in the early morning 3am
Day3 - Strongest rain from 12am - 4am plus
Day 3 was the day where we dig our shell scrip, we need to sleep inside it.But i was not able to sleep inside because I did not manage to dig it well enough to hide myself inside.Then because we are divided into different areas, we request to sleep altogether outside the "hole", it was nice that during field camp, the person which i dislike the most because of him being too straight forward that his words will hurt people sometimes when he speak, he become someone who i can talk to, play with.
At first he said that his parents were strict, so I predicted that his character can't go far because he is not allow to hang out with his friends much, he have to be at home before 7pm? WTF?
But my predicted was wrong, he is a tough & smart guy.
Felt sad for those type of people, he got the potential to go to command school but because of his girlfriend, he did not want to commit that much.Felt that a lot of people who are really a leaders, got potential to do things were not able to do so because of something that pull them back from doing it.
How i wish i was born to be one of the leaders as well. We chit chatted awhile & we rest during the night before the biggest rain ever comes.We stopped our conversation & rest at 10pm plus.
Then around 12am plus while sleeping, suddenly felt something drop onto me!
It was a rain & when i opened my eyes it is already very heavily ~
We woke up & we faster pack our stuff back to our bersha tent. We shiver like hell, our whole body was wet, carry our field bag, ILBV, riffle , guards ~ run back to our bersha tent that was so far away like 200m away.
It was the night when i starts to miss my home, where a place we did not worry much about rain no matter how heavy the rain is, we do not worry about our drain or our land because it is all built so nicely that we will be hardly be flooded in our house.Suddenly I think of what my mum told me, " One does not need to be rich, does not need to have anythings, what a person must have, is a HOME, a place that can provide you with shelter.", then I started to know how impact is this line matters to me now~
I though of going through all these shit together with my girlfriend, i feel that what i have go through was a very good experience for me, i miss her, i miss my families, i miss my home.
How i wish she was there for me when the heavy rain comes, i though of her ~
I dreamed about her being by my side when i was sleeping during day 1~
I couldn't know whats in my mind but i guess this is enough to prove myself that i really miss her~
After 3 days at the field camp site, we match with our feet so wet that it hurt while we walk all the way to our situation test site to carry on our 2 sit test the next two days.It rained again.....
But luckily the land my buddy & I having now, doesn't flood.
Saw fireflies while it rains, it is so beautiful...
Never ever though that i could see it anymore after leaving the house at Malaysia, I remember i saw it once at my Malaysia house when I off the light & it flying in the room while i was lying down getting ready to sleep, my sisters & I was admiring the firefly flying around our ceiling ( So young that i forget how old already) .

Days in the jungle, we are only allowed to bath with powder & this things called "pre-soap sponge", never will i use it if I never went to BMT, it is a sponge that already contain soap inside, what you need to do is that you just need to apply water into the sponge & you can use it to rub all over your body like you are bathing with a soap.Re-apply water, use it until there is totally no soap anymore in the sponge & you doesn't need to wash away those foam, leave it there & let it dry automatically & you will feel fresh again.
Powder bath was keep spamming the SAF powder onto your whole body to make your body more fresh too. I apply both of this method to survive throughout the whole nights in the jungle.

Almost forget, there will also have this moment whereby your commanders will come, say somethings make you reflect & think what you are doing in army.Making the atmosphere very emotional, then they give you back the letters that your parent wrote for you, people who are there to support you, people who always concern about you, people who are just there for you no matter what, opening up all the letter with those small little supportive words that they wrote for you.... it is really motivating to keep you going , you will feel touched & tears for their present with you all the way since young till now....
It was first time my mum wrote a letter for me... i really felt touched by the words she wrote inside to support to me, saying that I am a good son & etc....
I really appreciated her, grateful to have a mum like her who is always there for me regardless of sad,happy & what so ever..... =,)
(Tears drop again while typing this paragraph)

I like the outfield & I really thanks for the rain that created such wonderful moments in my life..... make me understand how much i must really appreciate all the things that I have now...
It was really a good experience for me which will never wanted to do it again next time...
I guess i might have a serious eyes injured by now if i never wore a glasses, my glasses helped me to block some shits that flew into my eyes while my buddy was firing..(Guess it was the mud that struck inside the blink attachment, then when it fire , the air pressure make the mud fly out the blink attachment, then to my eyes)
Now it got a small cracked at the right side~ but i thankful for the crack rather than the injured on my eyes.

Lastly, it was my 6th month anniversary with my girlfriend & it was first time that she sent the congratulation to me first before me~
Happy 6th month my girl ~
Thank you for your present in my life ~ :)
I Love You ~ <3