Friday, November 8, 2013

Memories are the most precious & only things you can get after all~

It was a good news that i went back home friday night & I heard my Mum strike 4D again!
Haha I guess it was a huge amount of prize she won ~ 5 digits! In RM dollar.

She always posted about the memories with grandmother, I can see she really appreciate her a lot a lot.
She always tell me the funny moment of them together, going out to play together, the days they used to spent together ever since she was young.Whenever they mentioned about when mum was young, I can always see the smile on their face, things that my mum have done, all those silly things when everyone will do when they are young. Haha~ at least they have those good memories spent together.

Ones could leave anytime
Appreciate them
Appreciate the love
Appreciate for all the things they have taught you

Only things they can leave is the memories
Those good moments...
Everyone have their tough moment
Is the tough moment that you went through that make you strong that create those good memories in you

I never expect after 21st b'day, my family still celebrate my B'day.
I got to be back OCS during my B'day, but they did a advance mini-celebration for me.

A&F T-shirt from my elder sister
A lip kiss mark on the Ang Bao of $150 from younger sister
My bike insurance that cost $950 from Dad
Baked caked in a love shaped box from my girlfriend
(Skipped school to specially spend the time baking for me)

Mum bought me a lot of things all the while even it is not my b'day so i didnt expect anything from her ~

I am grateful to have all these things from them
I appreciate
I love them

I know I may look childish when I told you I am jealous, I do mind you going out with another guy solo.
I never forget how angry I was when you told me , "then we shouldn't continue anymore"
You know what i think? I feel?
I felt like, are you saying that our r/s not going to continue anymore?
Because of a stranger in my life who asked you out for dinner?
A stranger of mine that could make us fight?
Someone who worth nothing to me affect someone who worth so much so much to me?
You told me is his be-lated b'day, so you finally accepted to go out with him~

I never forget the past when I am in secondary school friends around me told me this, " hey, you want to ask her out is it? Very easy one, just ask her out on your b'day, your b'day she confirm will come out with you one."
Accepting him to go out is 1X

Then secondly, I felt so so so so so hurtful that you shown no guilty yet happy with him.
Thinking of the past when we are not together
I keep encourage you, just go out with the guy, I will be fine
You feel uncomfortable & guilty after all.
But now you act totally opposite
This is 2X

Followed by the place that you two go
You have went to a place which among so many place we went before it had never been so nice before
So romantic
This is 3X

In total I got 3 times anger in me.
I don't know how it feel like but I really really really want to say it out because I really do not know where should I talk to
I don't like sharing my r/s with another other
Because I believe everyone will teach different way & their style may make mine worst
So I trust only myself & my partner in my r/s

This is the moment of though in my mind
I felt like I am really a boring person who can't satisfy you
I felt like the person is really so interesting or maybe he have successfully flirted you to make you so wanting to go out with him
I felt like I am lost whereby I couldn't angry I couldn't express what I am supposed to & got to act opposite of what my original reaction was
I am really lost but only thing in my mind is I don't want to lost my girl

Reason you can be so claim, at the point of time my mind think was this
Reason you can be so claim is because I don't even want to contact another girl
Don't even want to communicate with another girl
So going out with another girl alone is totally not going to happen at all
With this, how unsecured can you be?

But I am stating this not to make you feel bad
I just want to let you know you are really really important to me
And no one else

I just want to state all these down for my own reference
This is no blame to one another
I learnt from it
My reaction is normal to be like this because I really love you
I find no wrong having such reaction

But I would want to say this,
My feeling of being such a way there is no wrong
Yes I have act opposite of what I am, I did it right!
Because by showing what my original action will make this situation more worst
Well done
I am doing the right thing

Things take time to get adapted to it, we are human
We can be easily change
I believe I can change , it can be done so I find no reason for not facing this challenge
If such a small thing I cant handle then in future how am I given a big task to handle any other things?

I hope I hope...
Someone would enlighten me at that moment, that's all I got to say.

End of the day
Just want to tell you, if you feel hurt reading this?
This is what I was when you are out there.
But I believe this no pain no gain
I want to gain more so I AM GOING TO TELL YOU!


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